Love Ironic

day by day we changed 

and I went from laid back to suspicious from happy to malicious damn 

My whole demeanor is looking somewhat different.

and those misleading unfaithful kisses

they lied me right back down

on my back, on all fours, with my palms on the floor

I didnt want love made to make us anymore.

But like any woman in love my heart had a lock on the door

my self-esteem slid to the floor along with my

I wasnt his girl but I was damn sure his whore

pacing from corner to corner looking for something more

but she like he, was so efficient in balancing past and present

I can do nothing but thank his mistress

After healing I became the Mrs. 

of Mr. Right

Letter to My Replacement

Remember now that you been promoted to main chick - the side chick position is ready to be filled and trust me he has the resumes ready, no interviews necessary. If he cheated with you he will cheat on you and maybe then you will learn to close those legs tightly, at least around one man at a time.

Words that Matter

"Here are the real rules: Don't run with scissors, don't leave the iron on, don't cross against the light, and don't be afraid of a broken heart." —Lise Funderburg, writer

Fool me once, Shame on you

Fool Me twice Shame on ME.

I havent cried this hard in 12 weeks. Since the day I thought I was over you. I let you back in my life, praying that it would be different, knowing that my heart couldnt take anymore hurt, and just like the previous times I was left sitting in the shower drowning in my tears, hoping to drown in the water. Hoping that the water could replace the tears falling out of my eyes and hoping that my soul wouldn't be able to tell the difference. WHY!? Why do you continue to make a fool of me? Why is it so hard for you to care as much as I do, to be as loyal as I am. They say what goes around comes around but I swear I haven't gotten my fair share. My bestfriend tells me "Seriously Emm if he hasnt changed in 2 years or so hes not gonna change babygirl" and the sobs grow, because she just reiterated a fact I've ignored for far too long. So what do I do now? How many times can a person pick up the pieces of their damn heart? How many times can a girl keep giving the benefit of the doubt? How many DAMN times!????

I wish you cried as much as me.

I wish you hurt as painfully as I do.

I wish you had a playlist for days like this.

I wish you constantly were disappointed.

I wish you were in my shoes.

I wish you were HEARTBROKEN.

Then maybe you would think twice before you hurt me.

Through the Mirror

(picture by yours truely =] )

Looking in a mirror and I see myself, my reflection and the evidence of my experiences. This month I have truely learned that love beauty and happiness come in the most unexpected of packages. :-) Life's sunsets are hard to deal with but sunrises come soon after, and remember, those are the times when its most beautiful. Through the mirror, I see where I was and what Im leaving behind. Through the mirror I persevered.

Stress free is the way to live, listen to what your mind is telling you and what your heart often fails to comprehend. Being treated how YOU want to be treated should be your ultimate goal, so surround yourself with people who have that respect for you. Raised like a princess, I expect to be treated like one, I dont know if thats a problem or the solution;; either way, I'm enjoying the equation.

Broken Rules

Some were just made to be broken.

Make him miss you sometimes when a man always know where you are and your always readily available to him- he takes u for granted.

Dating is fun even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE u a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals.

You need time to heal between relationships, there is nothing cute about baggage. deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should not be the one doing all the bending ... compromise is a two-way street.

Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better."

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating u as u deserve then heck no, u cant be friends. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Some to Remember. (He's Just Not that Into You)

A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves.

Beware of the word "friend". It can often be used by men or the women that love them to excuse the most unfriendly behavior.

He may be one of your closest friends, but I'm sorry to say ... as a boyfriend, he's just not that into you Rather than the the far greater expectation of a boyfriend Hes got the ultimate situation a great friend w/ all the benefits of a girlfriend

Love Affair

"This year I wished for love, to emerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted and if having that is tragic, then give me tragedy, cause I wouldn't give it back for anything in the world." --One Tree Hill

I keep trying to let go, because by reality's standards, we will never be perfect, but I want to live this fantasy, because with you I feel perfected, and I like the beauty of someone like you, loving someone like me. Is it possible to forgive and forget? What lies in the past stays in the past, but moving forward does not mean the pain has stopped hurting, the wound being covered doesn't mean it has healed, and the scar will always remain to remind. Forgiving is possible but forgetting is out of ones grasp. You have no control of what seeps into your mind at unexpected times or the hurt that constrains your heart as it tries to beat. You can only control the way you react, whether you accept and understand, or analyze and assume. There will never be an exact explanation for another's behavior, never be an exact definition of the love that is shared, but consistently punishing one another defines spite and explains immaturity. An eye for an eye would leave everyone blind. Ask yourself if its possible to truely love unconditionally. If it is possible to love more than you love yourself, and you will see the answer is clear. To fall in love is to agree to change, not only habits and interests but outlooks and beliefs. Not necessarily changing who you are but who you are capable of becoming. They say not to compromise yourself, but isnt love compromise? Is not giving all of yourself to someone what makes love worthwhile? Real love is love you feel in your soul, the one that awakens passion to thrive and optimism to grow. Change is necessary and vital. Lasting relationships are ones in which a complimentary pair matures together and sponsors eachother's growth. I can not define love as anything other than a perfect fit, and although the pieces may not always fit together, you know that you are solving the right puzzle. 

Song of the Day: Broken -Hearted Girl - Beyonce