Letter to My Replacement

Remember now that you been promoted to main chick - the side chick position is ready to be filled and trust me he has the resumes ready, no interviews necessary. If he cheated with you he will cheat on you and maybe then you will learn to close those legs tightly, at least around one man at a time.

Im Cheating.

I lay with you, but Im thinking about him

I kiss you and I wonder what he's doing

I sleep and he is the face I see in my dreams

When we talk I consider the words he would tell me

I completely disregard you and you have no idea

Im in love with another man. I love him whole-heartedly

and you? You I just pretend with. You are my ego-booster

You will never have my heart for it belongs to

the man you are not.

I love the man I THOUGHT you were

and that figment of my imagination is just that - imagination.

Fool me once, Shame on you

Fool Me twice Shame on ME.

I havent cried this hard in 12 weeks. Since the day I thought I was over you. I let you back in my life, praying that it would be different, knowing that my heart couldnt take anymore hurt, and just like the previous times I was left sitting in the shower drowning in my tears, hoping to drown in the water. Hoping that the water could replace the tears falling out of my eyes and hoping that my soul wouldn't be able to tell the difference. WHY!? Why do you continue to make a fool of me? Why is it so hard for you to care as much as I do, to be as loyal as I am. They say what goes around comes around but I swear I haven't gotten my fair share. My bestfriend tells me "Seriously Emm if he hasnt changed in 2 years or so hes not gonna change babygirl" and the sobs grow, because she just reiterated a fact I've ignored for far too long. So what do I do now? How many times can a person pick up the pieces of their damn heart? How many times can a girl keep giving the benefit of the doubt? How many DAMN times!????

I wish you cried as much as me.

I wish you hurt as painfully as I do.

I wish you had a playlist for days like this.

I wish you constantly were disappointed.

I wish you were in my shoes.

I wish you were HEARTBROKEN.

Then maybe you would think twice before you hurt me.