1:02 AM
10:11 AM

Deja Vu

The previous post was written on 11/11 /2009 and the crazy thing is that the words couldn't better describe how Im feeling now. The words have come alive and they are more real than ever. But knowing what would come only helped the fall not hurt as much, but it still does. Losing your closet loved one is unbearable. Knowing you will never see that person again, knowing nothing will ever be the same. The dynamic of your world is completely changed forever. You had to die in my heart so you could live in her arms. RIP Loving brother, son, uncle, and friend. Jan. 2007 - Nov 19, 2009.
1:41 AM

Mental breakdown.

I might feel like I'm dying now but this is just a painful recovery.
Suffering withdrawls but I gotta overcome this addiction and these are
just symptoms of a broken heart.

I hurt myself, I had to let you go before you hurt me. It aches. My
heart is torn my throat has knots of unspoken words and unheard crys.
My head pounds to the beat of painful memories. I'm swimming in my
uncried tears gasping for air trying to find a way out of this ocean
of despair. I don't want joint custody that every other weekend arrangement. The memories of a cold winter are melted away by the revealing spring.

7:50 PM

Gravity - Sara Bareilles

There's always a song that explains exactly how you feel...

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.


I live here on my knees as I try to make you see
that you're everything I think I need here on the ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down