11:17 PM

Spilled


I hate pouring out my feelings to an invisible cup.
Now look at the mess I've become.
Spilled all over this counter, I am sprawled across the floor.
I am a puddle.
You can see right through me to whats beneath.
I lay here, waiting for the quicker picker upper
to absorb my emotions I so carelessly overflowed.
I should of stayed in the pitcher,
but the outside world looked so much bigger
I thought I could be free.
I thought you would drink me up and consume me.
I just wanted to nourish you.
I wanted to quench that thirst for everlasting devotion.
But you were skeptical.
and after watching me be produced you still think I am poison.
Knowing that I am made of the most pure of substances -
prideless love & loyalty
You focus on that hint of jealousy and pinch of immaturity
that complete my recipe.
Recipe for disaster perhaps
but I am the best mess you will ever have to clean up
and who knows what will be left of this puddle
because with this heat I am slowly evaporating
& I cant keep waiting
for you.

9:50 AM

NY-Z


ABSOLUT Vodka presents "NY-Z", a new 15-minute documentary featuring Jay-Z.

4:46 PM

Elegance Quote



Elegance is not the prerogative of those who have just escaped from adolescence, but of those who have already taken possession of their future.” - Coco Chanel
I have a firm grasp on my future and I take it everywhere I go, whether I have to push myself or drag it. The future is all I see, I won't spend time looking at what is around me. That's how you get distracted.

1:45 PM

Lost Letters

Looking through my phone I found a note that I had written over the past few weeks... The storm has passed and these are just a glimpse into the eye of the storm.

I might feel like I'm dying now but this is just a painful recovery.
Suffering withdrawals
but I gotta overcome this addiction
and these are just symptoms of a broken heart.

I hurt myself, I had to let you go before you killed me. It aches. My heart is torn my throat has knots of unspoken words and unheard crys. My head pounds to the beat of painful memories. I'm swimming in my uncried tears gasping for air trying to find a way out of this ocean of despair. Why does this love have such a hold on me?
Why do u keep me locked behind bars of lies and illusions? Why am I not enough to be free?
I don't want joint custody that every other weekend arrangement.

Words unspoken widen the gap between Understanding and unhappiness.
When will he listen? When will he learn? When will I grow? Will we ever?
1:37 PM



4 days after that
1 conversation I thought would change everything;
0 chances are left for success
Slowly we
Lost
Our "so called" alleged
Commitment; finally I began
Understanding all the
Mistakes I had made; taking you back.